Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Our Way Of Helping Our Son Achieve His Dreams



Song:  Legend Of A Mind

Group:  The Moody Blues


This picture is a metaphor for the many directions in life in which they present themselves.
The quality and depth of each depends upon thinking ahead...and planning well.




I very well know that our path is one that most cannot follow in its entirety.
However, the path may be modified...either in its timeline...
or through the addition or subtraction of any of its components.


It is the guiding concept which is important.


Just as with anything else in life...
merely wishing for something is not nearly enough.

The path to it must be plausible...
and it must be strived for until fruition.

For Alex to achieve his dreams...
our wishes must coincide with reality.

Although I am retired...
and my pension puts us solidly in the upper middle class economically...
we can not be considered wealthy.

As part of the reality of life...
monetary costs must be factored in.

To best meet the needs of my son's future...
as well as of our own...
the path to the achievement of our dreams
must be carefully planned ahead of time.

Although we are striving for Alex to get a scholarship to University
(hopefully by doing well in international math competitions)...
we must always have a viable contingency plan.

As I am retired...
we are free to move at anytime...
and to where it would best serve the needs of our son.

I realize that this aspect of our lives does not apply to most parents.

Our plan is to have Alex live at home all through his years at University
 (he wishes to pursue his Doctorate).

The advantage we have that most parents do not
is that we may move to wherever his University is located so he may live at home...
all without a worry as I need not be concerned about having a profession to also transplant.

His full time job will be to excel in his studies.

We will provide him with a stress free environment...
nutritious food...and with all of his time devoted to his studies.

I know many believe that by  
making a child work while he is at school...
it will somehow make him a better person.

I see it as putting him at a disadvantage...
plus...
for a student to really stretch himself in his studies...
he must be working on a level, and on a time scale...
which will, often times, be more stringent than that which applies to most jobs later on.

What does apply to many parents is that we will also have
Alex live at home once he starts working so he may save all 
of his money to pay off any student loan debts...
and to save his money for his first house...
if not to pay it off completely...
then to at least have a large enough down payment
as to ease his transition into independence.

We will also move near his later place of employment until
he is financially stabilized and in his own home.

Should he meet the love of his life and get married while still 
at University...the plan remains the same.

We would welcome his wife into our home
so they may save all of their money until they may
have a good solid start in life.

Only when this has been accomplished
will we then search for our dream retirement property to build our dream house
(still near enough to visit our son frequently - within a few hours of him).

I plan to get a large enough plot of land so that my mother 
may build her dream house near mine so I may take care of her...
and for Alex to eventually inherit our property for his place of retirement
so he may have a mortgage free place of beauty to retire on...
and to be able to allow his children to eventually build their retirement 
homes on the land...so family may take care of family as each member ages...
and so on.

I also have a Roth IRA of which Alex will also inherit (tax free).
I opened and funded it years ago with Alex specifically in mind...
the dividends of which are reinvested in more shares...
of which over a period of 50 - 60 years of compounding
should give him enough to pay any taxes or transfer fees of the property
(the mortgage of which would have been long paid for by then)...
and with enough left over as to supplement his own retirement.
We also have an educational fund to help with Alex's future University expenses
(To cover what student loans will not...should he not get a scholarship.
I will also be teaching him about long term investments later on).




Helicopter parents?

Proudly so.



Emotionally healthful for our son?

A highwire acrobat is free to be more daring...
while greatly limiting his risk...
when he has a balance pole...
and a safety net.



Won't we spoil our son?

A child is spoiled through the non setting of limits to negative behavior...
not through the abundance of demonstrated love and affection.



What is the overall concept of our plan?

Just as with many successful immigrant families...
family takes care of family.

As I am familiar with the Asian culture
(although I know that in many cultures the same applies)...
I know that in many of the families...
parents plan ahead for the caring of their children...
parents plan ahead for the caring for their parents...
and they will often share their households with their children
until late in life to allow their children to get ahead in life.

It is when these children grow up and do the same for their children...
and each generation then takes care of their parents as they age...
a cycle of great love given, and gratitude for great love received...
is perpetuated...and will forever greatly enrich the lives of each.




















No comments:

Post a Comment

Please feel free to comment on this article.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...