Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Focus On A Child's Strengths




Song:  Breakthrough

Artist:  Mark Petrie



First...
read this article:




For the original page:




The world
doesn't care about the small stuff...
just about results.

Whatever makes them stronger...
whatever gives them the best results...
they want above all else.

A company needs to, not only survive
in the ultra competitive world...
it needs to thrive.

Just as pro sports teams draft only those who can perform
at the top of the game...
regardless of individual quirks...
so it is in business.

Those who perform at the top...
got there by focusing on their strengths.

So long as no deficits hinder true performance...
or otherwise make it impossible to work in the specific environment...
eccentricity is not only tolerated...
it is often the hallmark of the exceptionally gifted in their fields.

It is never about normalizing a child.

Just by definition...
it is to be average...
part of the norm...
always wishing to be a perfect fit on the inside of a jigsaw puzzle...
instead of being on the cutting edge of it...
a corner stone of excellence.

The edge puzzle pieces are always the most important ones.
They set the parameters of all to come...
they determine the final shape of the puzzle.
All follow the edge pieces.

It is always about playing to a child's strengths.
The path to his strengths is also the path to the moderation...
or the conquering, of his deficits.

Take a look at the greatest baseball players in history.

Very few are known as masters of both, the field...
and the bat.

They had focused on what they loved...
and what they had done best.

Although they had deficits in the other areas of play...
they had done well enough to allow their strengths to shine through.

What they were remembered for...
was in that which they had excelled.


One of the ways to fail...
is to focus on the deficits in life.

To focus on NOT doing something...
not only teaches nothing...
it actually increases the incidences of occurrence 
in all but the most disciplined.

Many psychological experiments have shown that
when a person is told to NOT do something...
even when they know it is wrong...
the fact that their mind is focused on the wrong...
increases their impulse to do that particular act.

It is the only thing on their mind...
they only know the dread...
the fear of the negative...
when instead...
by simply telling a person what needs to be done...
by giving them a positive avenue to focus on...
they then lose all focus on any deficits...
and instead concentrate their efforts on what is to become their strengths.

He will then develop drive, and a passion for his strengths.

Driven by passion...
he will achieve through repetition...
and completely focused actions.

The mind can only focus on ONE thing at a time.
By focusing on positive actions...
there is only time for positive results.

Deficits (compulsive or impulsive) automatically moderate
 by simply diverting any impulse for the deficits
to that of the positive.

For the deficits which involve effort to improve...
the same path to the achievement of his strengths...
is the same one for the conquering of his deficits.

I will use my earlier life as an example.

I had many compulsive, impulsive...
as well as developmental deficits early in life.

For the conquering of all of my major deficits...
it was by the same path...
by focusing on what was to become, my strengths.


I had an overwhelming compulsion to turn in circles whenever
I had to deviate from a straight path while walking
(I also tracked my hand motions...
if they had made a circle...such as on a game board...
I had to unwind the circle after placing the game piece down).

I had to smell every bite of food before I ate it.

My feet became so unbearably hot that I went barefoot
as much as possible...even at school...when I could get away with it.

I had a sense of compression and heat building up in my body...
which could only be released by a sudden and explosive utterance...
which strangely... sounded like a blaster in Star Wars 
(a decade before Star Wars came out...and yes...I had a good inward laugh
when I had first seen Star Wars a decade later and had heard that old familiar sound :)

I chewed on objects...
I had to crumple my papers into a ball
(my sixth grade teacher named me Crinkles because I kept my homework 
assignments in a compressed ball in my pants pocket.  
Of course...when I took them out and unraveled them...
the papers were full of crinkles :) ...
my limbs would sometimes want to suddenly jerk 
without me knowing ahead of time...
my legs were so uncoordinated as a youth
(until 3rd grade or so)...
that if I tried to run straight...
I ended up making a wide left circle...
and so I had to initially aim my direction far off to the right...
so I would end up in the right place...
my handwriting was almost completely illegible...
even after hours of concentrated practice...
and an all so frequent occurrence in the classroom...
just as one nods off at the steering wheel without realizing it...
and only noticing upon awakening...
I had found that I had been in my own world while the teacher 
had been explaining something...
and I was jerked back to reality when the teacher called out my name...
to answer a question I had not heard in the first place.

These were some of the compulsions and unconscious acts
I had suffered in my early years.

After a few years of these compulsions...
I had realized that by my telling myself NOT to do them...
it made things even worse.

The more I thought about them...
the worse the symptoms became...
so...I merely used common sense...
and I tried the opposite approach.

I then diverted my attention to a single unrelated action.

I had clenched my fists as tightly as I could...
just to the point before cramping...
and I would then fully open them...
and leave them open in all my actions.

I had found that the build up of stress melted away.

I later got heavily involved in sports...
and I kept the same technique of open hands...
as I had found that I could coordinate my body effectively in this manner...
and that I maintained a relaxed state while under physical and psychological stress.

Although I had not known it at the time...
the keys to athletic performance
(and my key to conquering my deficits)...
is mind - body unification 
(open hands allows the largest muscles of the body to contract first...
allowing an effective chaining of muscular effort)...
and the ability to operate in a relaxed state under stress.

It was only when I could control my body...
did my mind become more free.

The main point I must stress...
it was not done by concentrating on what NOT to do...
it was done by concentrating on what TO do.


----------------


Look for the strengths in your child...
nurture a strength in an area of academics...
make it his.

The path to excellence in one area... is the same for all.

By focusing on doing well...
there is neither time, nor desire, to focus on the negative.

Allow his pride to lead to passion...
and his passion to lead to excellence.

Conquer the large things in life
through concentrated effort...
the small will either take care of themselves...
or they simply won't matter.















2 comments:

  1. Very interesting to read your experiences as a child. I will have to try to apply that with my son.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It had made all the difference in the world to me. It is funny that now, since my wife has been taking a course on Neurotransmitters and ADHD and other afflictions...my wife will ask me questions and when I answer...she will immediately answer...that is so typical of ADHD :)

    ReplyDelete

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