Wednesday, January 9, 2013

To Women And Mothers: Why Males Don't Like To Read Instructions



Song:  Journey Of Life

Group:  Future World Music



So... is this title a fact?

Unknown

So...is this merely my opinion?

No

While much of it came through my observations in life...
and I not only have direct experience as a young man...
as well as repeated correlative evidence as I have watched
other young men go through the same experiences...
and had seen their reactions as well as the results...
I also explain it rationally...
and so, this is not merely an opinion...
but a reasoned argument.


To understand this... is important...
as by adding a plausible scenario as to motive...
mothers may understand their child more
(not just the males...I am sure much is applicable to females as well...
however, I speak mostly from personal experience...and so...
it is my observations from the male perspective).


Men don't like to follow instructions...
Hmmm...

What possible good can come from this?

Well, of course...
it all depends if the result is good or not.

However, it is usually a young man who practices this.

By the time a man matures...
it is precisely because he has practiced it...
that he has developed problem solving skills.

So long as no harm will result from being wrong...
the child will have gained valuable problem solving experience 
as he attempts to identify and correct the problem.


This whole article comes from one of my responses to 
an article in one of the Blogs I regularly read.

The article was titled:
Do we really celebrate thinking outside of the box?!

The author's concern was for her son.
While she applauded her son's efforts to figure out problems on his own...
she also realized that the world rewards the complete followers...
instead of potential leaders in training.

The following was my response:



As a youth growing up in the 1960s and 1970s...
I was mentored by many adult males in various sports...
and finally in the Military
(Sports...especially Combative ones...
teach valuable lessons in life to young males).

The common thread among the many great men
I had been exposed to...was conceptual and applicatory guidance
(I call them great because of the way they had so generously given 
of their wisdom and time.  They had truly cared about teaching their
art or sport...and had taught by giving concepts and guidance in 
the application of them).

A common scenario was when faced with a new type of situation...
the mentor would give a concept...
a general path to pursue...
and then he would say to apply it to the new situation.

By doing so...
instead of having me follow a predesignated path up a particular mountain...
he would give general rules for choosing the correct mountain...
the most efficient path to walk...
and he would give guidance to ensure my path was kept to...
and the pacing was correct.

My Father had done the same to me whenever we went out
by asking me to observe things and to reason out my observations.

Had he just explained everything to me...
while I would have gained a piece of trivia...
I would have lost the opportunity to practice
my observational and reasoning skills.

So...
is it really so bad that young men wish to try things on their own?

Only if by failing others will suffer.

So long as the instructions are a contingency in case of imminent failure...
then it is good practice.

Even in the Army...
contrary to popular opinion...
we were not trained to be automatons.

We were given concepts and principles to follow...
but what was heavily stressed was our ability to adapt to the situation...
using fundamental concepts.  

Our ability to improvise instead of following strict directives
is what freed us to adapt...as an inability to do so could have had
disastrous results in a combat situation...
and it is the results which ultimately matter.

What I have stressed to Alex is to be result oriented by concept.

I give him concepts...
and I then try to have him figure out the path to the best result.

I then have him look at the directions to have him learn
the reasoning behind them.

The goal is in the learning of fundamental concepts...
and in the application of them in as generalized
a manner as possible.

It is my goal to have Alex generalize concepts...
and to be able to apply them to life.

As Alex grows more independent...
he is wanting to figure out things more for himself
(which is good).

In short...
so long as the young male attempts to find a solution without instructions
(instead of merely rebelling without a solution of his own)...
and afterward his solution is compared to the designed solution
 so he may learn a more efficient concept...
it is good practice.

I hate directions  :)

I just want to know what the problem is...
the variables and the parameters...
and then to have the freedom to devise a solution.

Just think of it this way...
if everyone followed...
while there would be very little friction...
there would also be very little innovation.

The ultimate result would be stagnation.

So long as the male is trying to figure out the solution on his own...
and is then willing to compare the result to a better one to learn the concept...
then it is a necessary path of exploration which will eventually teach him
how to be a leader in life...
instead of merely being a good follower
(although a good leader must also know how to follow well).

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