Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Components For Educational Growth - Part 2 of 2


Song:  Time

Artist:  Hans Zimmer



POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT:


What is Positive Reinforcement?



You simply must read the above article, through the link provided, if you have not already
(it is a very short article).

It will provide the necessary informational background 
to understand what I am talking about.


An important point, as said in the linked article....
you never praise mediocrity.

However, you never hold back your love and affection...
especially as a means of manipulation.

Simply put...
always give plenty of love and affection.

You simply give extra affection and praise right after an accomplishment
 so the cause and effect of positive behavior and positive reinforcement is established.


Before you can even think of Positive Reinforcement...
especially for parents to be...
the standard of love and affection should already be at a high level...
should be constant...
should be never ending.






NEVER...
fall into the pseudo - psychological hogwash claiming that
an abundance of openly expressed love and affection
is what spoils a child.

WHAT RUBBISH!!!

The persons who claim this are bone heads and must not have ever been parents.



It is in the NOT setting and teaching of...
 boundaries...
of right and wrong... 
 other basic morals...
which spoils the child.

Open love and affection to a child gives him
hope and love of everything in life.

I always have an urge to just give Alex a big hug and a kiss on his forehead...
just because.


Children are smart.

Remember when you were young.

You knew what was going on.

You could tell insincerity.
You saw conflicts between words and actions.
You could discern between right and wrong.

In general...
beating...
berating...
bullying a child...
is not only betraying him...
it is a betrayal to all that is good and right.

It is sometimes necessary to scold a child to overcome his stubbornness...
to get him to truly listen.

However, once that has been achieved...
you immediately talk once again...
and truly guide.

To use force or fear as a standard of ruling...
is to "parent" by submission.


To lead by example...
to be ruled by reason 
(yes... you, too, must be reasonable)...
to guide him by showing him what to do...
and how to think for himself...
is to truly parent.





CONCEPTUAL GUIDANCE:



All things...
not just in academics...
but everything in life falls into basic rules of understanding...
of logical categories and sub-categories...
of branches and sub-branches...
of basic governing principles which allow one to predict
outcomes and general paths of efficiency and effectiveness.

These are concepts.

It is the essence of knowledge for which children crave.

When they inevitably ask you "why?"...
it is not the answer to the particular question that they desire...
but the underlying principle for which they may figure out 
ALL other similar problems that they truly wish to understand.

Observe your child's results...
give conceptual guidance when he cannot understand a problem.

Give a path to problem resolution to similar problems.
Show him an efficient and effective route to follow.
Then watch him go forth to conquer his former foe.
You will see his smile and his pride.
He will feel your love for him through your caring guidance.

You are there for him.
Together, you form a team.
Ignorance is your enemy.

He is the Intellectual Knight.

You are the Weapons and Tactics Master.

Knowledge through Conceptual Guidance is your
outfitting him with the finest weapons and armor...
and a solid battle plan.

He will be riding on the Great War Horse of Reason...
which will tirelessly guide him to victory time and again.


In order for a parent to be able to do this for her child...
s/he must BE THERE
(Physically / Intellectually / Emotionally).

p x t = P

p =   Presence in mind, body, and soul...
truly listening and observing...
guiding through concepts...
driven by, and given through...
love.

t =   The quantity of quality...
Time given...
Time spent...
Time shared...
Time immortalized in the child's mind...
Time never gotten back.


P =    Parenting





ADVANCEMENT BY MERIT:


It really is this simple...
when a child has 100% understanding of a principle...
and can demonstrate this...
move on...
not until then.

Will he always be able to answer all related questions afterward...
will he have reached intellectual nirvana?

Of course not...
to expect him to be perfect forever afterward is unreasonable
(however, hoping for it is not :)

There are always the factors of...
forgetfulness...
oversight...
confusion...
fatigue...etc.

To consistently score in the mid to high nineties is not unreasonable.

However, it is not enough.

A missed problem is an opportunity to identify a potential weakness
to correct.

Actually, in the Army it is called...
Go or No Go.

You either know it cold...
or you do not...
and you retrain on the problem until you can perform it flawlessly.

Every so often...
you revisit the old concepts to ensure retainment.

Also...
there is no upper limit.

He may advance at will, to higher and higher subjects...
as determined by his results.

This greatly instills pride.


Now...


Never study by time.
It is far better to study by objective.

It is the difference between striving for a goal...
and pacing oneself to cheat time.

Set the studying goal by results.
The child then becomes internally motivated to excel.
He has a tangible goal.

Lets take long distance running.

If you run for a predetermined time...
you naturally slow the pace down...
especially early on.

No matter how well you do...
you must still grind on until the predetermined time has elapsed.

It goes against human nature to relinquish control...
to subjugate one's pride and motivation to a master (time)...
an external means of motivation as dictated by the clock...
no matter how fast you go...how hard you try...you still must be there for the time.
The goal then becomes one of trying to cheat time by merely seeking comfort
for the determined time by slowing down and not putting in effort.
If one's effort means nothing...then why try hard?
If excellent results mean nothing...then why try to excel?


Now run by a preset distance.

You now are motivated to run quickly...
as you are now governed by yourself.
You control how long you will be on the course.

You have a tangible goal to strive for...
it is under your control.
You may take pride in how quickly you achieve your goal.

You are the master of your destiny.

You are internally motivated.
Your body naturally wants to go...go...go.

You have something to earn.
You may take great pride in your excellence.

When a child reaches the objective...
he may move on...
either to his next lesson (and great praise)
(which puts him nearer his goal for the day)...
or to his free time...
and great praise.

To tell a child to study for an hour...
and to not leave his room until he has done so...
is abandonment.

To give a child a reasonable objective to complete...
with a layout of the day's objectives ahead of time...
motivates him to excel.

It is self governing.
It creates an atmosphere of motivation.
It is giving control to the person.
It is management by objective...
and it makes a huge difference, psychologically, to the child. 

It inspires...
motivates...
and helps create...
excellent results.


4 comments:

  1. You have done a great job in instilling self-motivation in Alex.

    The pictures of the two of you are wonderful! Your love and affection shines through.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Demonstrated love and affection is so important for children...and parents also. All of life is so much brighter and everything has so much more depth when positive emotions are uninhibited.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I enjoyed reading this post. Great loving pictures over the years too.
    Thanks for shairing and allowing me to stop by :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for stopping in... and for your comment. Please stop in often.

    ReplyDelete

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