Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Quotes From Zen Moments - I


Song:  Sacred Journey

Artist:  Kitaro



My Blog is not merely something for me to do...
it is not even something to only help other parents with children on the spectrum.

I intend it to be a chronicling of my son's life...
for him to enjoy when he grows up...
and as a parenting guide for him should he one day...
decide to become a father.

As I am almost 41 years older than my son...
I want to ensure that I leave something to remind him of my 
continuing thoughts of him...
of my great love for him.

I say this to assure you that the same advice I preach...
I not only live...
It is the same advice I give the one person 
whom I love more than anyone or anything else...
my son, Alex. 


---------


I don't pretend to be knowledgeable in Philosophy.

I make no claim to any knowledge of Religion.

I do know, however, when something said, or done, strikes true.


I have gathered a few selected quotes from Zen Moments.

It has a gathering of quotes from many well known religious figures...
philosophers, various wise people throughout history
(although I cannot fully validate the original source).

(on Twitter)



I shall be cutting and pasting the quotes...
 including my take on them...
and the value of them in raising children.

The purpose lies in the general morals or guiding principles in which they teach.

By guiding the mind...
you guide subsequent actions.

Children...
especially ones on the Autistic Spectrum...
can derive great benefit from a set of high moral standards...
especially when they are set in a form of very general statements to help
guide them throughout life.

By the time children are eight or so years old...
minus their delayed impulse control
(usually not fully formed until into their 20s)...
their minds have full cognitive functioning.

What they lack is experience.

These quotes give them the benefit of many lifetimes of wisdom.

---------------------


Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. ~ Helen Keller


Helen Keller...
initially, a prisoner of her own body...
Deaf, Mute, and Blind.

She eventually became a teacher and advocate of others.

She learned not only how to communicate...
but how to love life.

Very few people will have to face the obstacles she had to.

She learned the value of Perseverance...
and the joy of conquering a great obstacle in life.

She had a teacher of great compassion.
A teacher who never gave up.
A teacher who had relentlessly taught and led...
 despite the incredible difficulties facing her and her pupil.

All the attributes of a great parent.


I think the real message here lies in the acknowledgement that although
life is sometimes visited with suffering, pain, and fear...
it is still worth it.

To be able to have conquered these obstacles in life gives great meaning to it.

To wish to merely live a life devoid of suffering 
is to wish to live a life devoid of great joy for fear of experiencing pain
along the journey.

What should be avoided in life is not potentially painful experiences...
but stagnation.

To never extend one's self...
although many think it means they will make a mistake...
by default...they will have made the biggest mistake of all...
living an unfulfilled life.

When you reach for great heights...
you sometimes fall...
you sometimes break some bones.

You learn from it and heal...
and do it right the next time.


Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. ~ Anon


This quote is just more in support of what I had written above.


The great lesson for your children to learn is to not fear trying...
to always expand themselves...
to not fear falling and not being able to get back up...
of having placed themselves behind the pack because they had fallen...
instead of realizing that to not try is to certainly fail each and every time.


----


Our life is what our thoughts make it. ~ Marcus Aurelius


Our actions are guided by our thoughts, hopes, and plans.

To seek short term pleasures at the expense of long term pleasures...
comes from having no true hopes for the future...
which comes from not having expanded horizons...
from not having their eyes opened to all the possibilities for their future...
and the true long term pleasures which await them through
Deferred Gratification.

A person constantly looking for short term pleasures
is living a hedonistic lifestyle.

Just as someone with a full box of chocolates and who is allowed to eat 
as many as he wishes...
each successive one becomes less sweet...
less fulfilling. 

He then must search for something more to temporarily satisfy him
(just as a drug addict must).

He never realizes that nothing is so sweet as a drink of cool clear water to 
a man who has suffered great thirst through his great exertions (efforts in life).

He never tires of it...
it never loses its great sweetness.

It is also all the sweeter because he knows he has earned it...
and so, he may thoroughly enjoy it to the depths of his soul.

Through Deferred Gratification...
a child has only hope for his future...
as he has already paid his dues.


----


Genius is only the power of making continuous efforts. ~ Elbert Hubbard



One of the most prolific inventors in history (Thomas Edison) had once said -

Genius:  1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.


A child who believes that only the "smart kids" will succeed
and, therefore, gives up trying...
doesn't realize that it is the ones who don't give up...
the ones who eventually succeed in life are the ones with the 
highest drive to succeed.

They are usually not the quickest or the top of their class...
merely the ones who wanted it more...
and through their unrelenting efforts...
had become far more successful in life
(many studies were conducted connecting drive, and not I.Q., to success).

Through superior drive...
their passions compel them to study more...
and to eventually surpass the naturally gifted ones who study less. 

Drive is derived through a passion or love of learning...
a clearly defined goal to achieve...
and the hope that it gives.


----


What you are must always displease you...
if you would attain to that which you are not. ~ St. Augustine


What this means to me is that while you may be
satisfied in the direction you are headed...
and in the pace you are maintaining...
to be satisfied with where you are is to never wish to leave 
your area of comfort.

Just as a hiker who finds the lake at which he camps so comfortable...
and so, forgoes his original trek to the top of the mountain (his goal)...
a person who learns to love comfort over struggle...
settles for stagnation...never to achieve...
never to learn to love life...
merely wishing to rather not experience pain...
only short term pleasures.

It is through pain, sacrifice, and purposeful self-denial... 
that life's true pleasures are realized.

A child learns this through Deferred Gratification.


---------------------


The following thoughts are from my previous articles.

They are from me to you...
from one parent to another...
and as described at the beginning of this article...
as an eventual parenting guide to my son, Alex.



Shiroi Tora's thoughts on Parenting


I have included some previously posted quotes from me... to all parents.

It is nothing that many do not already feel deeply inside.

I had merely put them into words as a reminder...
and to help guide new or future parents.


----


When it comes to parenting...

we are all brothers (sisters)...
looking to better the ones which matter the most to
not only us...but to the rest of the world.

It is they...our children...
who through their passions...
 shall eventually change the world.

It is we...the parents...
who through our passions for our children...
shall provide the solid bedrock
from which we may catapult them to success...and so...happiness.

We shall be their Atlas...
upon which our shoulders they may stand...
the weight of the rest of the world...
upon our shoulders may it rest...
so upon theirs... it shall not.

Let us be strong enough
to carry the burdens...
so their wings are unbound...
so they may be free to fly.

                         ----Shiroi Tora


----



THE PARENTAL CREED

I give you, my sweet child...
Love, Affection, and Positive Reinforcement
so you may love learning...
 and so, life...and all that it may bring.


You fear nothing...as you know I am always here for you.




I am your guardian...


I shall make your world safe from negative influences...
whatever they may be...
so you may see the world through the eyes of a child...
full of love, hope, and wonder.




I am your guide...


I shall find the most efficient, and so, effective path up the mountain...
so you may avoid the pitfalls...and so...enjoy the journey.




I am your Teacher...


I shall give you the tools necessary to excel in any endeavor...
so that all the doors of opportunity are open for your choosing.




I am your Parent...


I lead by example...
so you may also learn to be a good parent to your children.
                                        ---- Shiroi Tora
----


We, the parents, are part of The Great Generation.
We have the power to alter the course of humanity
through the correct teachings of our children.


By teaching... 
we alter the next generation.


By teaching how to teach the teachings...
to all our children...
and they, to all their children...
ad infinitum...


we alter all those who follow...through eternity.

This is how progress is to be made...
how good conquers evil...
exponentially.

                               ---- Shiroi Tora




2 comments:

  1. The important things you wrote about today - perseverance, delayed gratification - are among the most difficult challenges I have had in terms of teaching my son. Hopefully, as he gets older, the lessons will have more impact. In the meantime, I keep trying.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Those attributes are often realized by children through a love of sports or music. It is also realized through almost any passion which is practiced on a daily basis. It is through daily practice that a child will also see almost daily growth...which reinforces his passion. What we are doing with Alex is keeping a daily routine. It then becomes second nature. When he sees how much he can accomplish through accumulated effort...he develops a hunger to do more. We stress daily study...even if only a smaller amount than usual, even during vacations...and especially during all weekends and school breaks. On our way to distant locations...he reads in the car or studies using a preloaded app on his iPad. During camping trips...he will read (non leisure) in the tent before bed. It is the daily routine that we find to be crucial. We want Alex to develop his perseverance through passion as evidenced through, and stimulated by, frequently placed, and achievable objectives (which are greatly praised). A true taste of victory through accumulated effort is the greatest teacher of perseverance. It becomes not a lesson learned so much as a lesson realized. He then becomes the discoverer of a life truth. When this happens...it becomes a part of him.

    Anyway...I am sure you are doing much the same thing already. I am just letting you know that the path that we (you and I) tread, is a tried and true one...and in time...one that has profoundly great effects.

    Here is to our path...and to our children (as I raise my chalice in toast).

    ReplyDelete

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