Song: Intermeco
Artist: Robert Miles
Of course...
the most efficient way to teach...
is to illustrate the concept...
show them how to do it...
have them do it.
A problem arises when fear blocks the child...
from learning...
no matter how relatively easy the activity is.
If his mind is more occupied with fear
than with the task at hand...
he will fail.
I won't go into the two basic ways of fear management
that operate on extremes of...
Positive Reinforcement and Negative Reinforcement...
they, because of the situation or the self, self regulate.
Positive Reinforcement...
whether by Passion or other great incentive...
generally overrides the fear...
and so, necessitates no further action.
Negative Reinforcement...
by having a more fearful...or otherwise painful
stimuli applied...forcing the choice of performance
of the lesser feared.
Obviously not the choice of tactics...
and so...
There are four basic ways to effectively deal with
fear...
Disinhibition
Coping Skills
Fear Nullification
Skill Mastery
Fear Disinhibition
is simply getting the child used to
the fearful aspect through repeated
dosing of the fearful stimuli in fractional...
ever increasing increments.
This is used most often on irrational
fears...where there is nothing to really fear.
It is also often used in conjunction with
coping skills to get the person past the
paralyzing aspect of the fear.
Often an ancillary benefit of other techniques...
as with all others...
accumulated successful cycles leads to
a positive experience through repetition.
It operates on the age old physiological adaptation
process of Super Compensation.
Stimuli applied hard and long enough forces the body
to rebuild stronger...
effectively raising the threshold of tolerance.
Done in small enough steps allows adaptation
(starting just above comfort level...not going above tolerance level).
Done repetitiously enough allows the tolerance levels
to be raised enough to allow task performance.
Example of application
Irrational fear of clowns.
Starting with talking of clowns...
progressing to pictures of clowns...
having them draw pictures of clowns...
on to having them look at someone dressed
in a clown suit from afar...
on to watching at closer distances...
having them eventually touch the clown...
to having them wear a clown outfit...
finishing up with them performing as a clown.
Coping Skills
Often used in conjunction with fear disinhibition...
as many won't tolerate any stimuli from that which
is greatly feared without mind distraction.
One way is concentrating on...
or even the monitoring of a physiological process...
such as breathing and relaxation.
Example of application
Having them take a deep breath and
letting it out in long intervals by saying...
almost inaudibly...
ahhh...
while keeping their hands open.
This diverts their mind and forces relaxation.
When their concentration fails...
as evidenced by the clenching of their hands...
or the holding of their breath...
you will know their tolerance level has been reached.
A way of combining the two processes...
as has been used by martial artists of old...
is using the same relaxation techniques
while experiencing physiological stressors.
Besides being consciously used during their rigorous
training...they would train in a deep stance...
concentrating on keeping their breath flowing smoothly
and their hands open and relaxed while standing underneath
a cold waterfall.
This teaches the body to relax under stress...
as the same physiological reactions occur
when experiencing fear.
This toughens the mind, body, and spirit
to the onrush of the fight or flight chemical
releases in the body...the ones which cause
the negative and extremely uncomfortable
symptoms
There exists a way of doing the same thing...
in controlled measures... and right at home...
the shower.
Just by adjusting the temperature at successively
colder temperatures over time...
they can condition their body to not react to
the physiological responses...
this actually lessens the amount
of stress related chemical output.
Yoga is essentially the same thing..
just using stretching and postural stressors
while forcing relaxation and breath control
under the said stressors.
Fear Nullification
This attacks the basis of the fear head on.
Much of fear is based upon a perceived lack of control
over a negative scenario which may happen.
By teaching them how to successfully deal
with the worst cast scenario...
it takes away the fearful aspects.
With the fear taken away...
they are then ready to learn.
Example of application
Learning how to ride a bicycle.
Alex was initially taught how to ride a bike
a few years ago.
While he could barely ride in a straight line...
he had no confidence in turning, braking and maneuvering.
I chose to attack his problem of fear head on.
He feared falling....
and so...
I taught him what to do in the
event of a fall...
and then...
I pushed him off the bike.
Of course...
it was done in a controlled and safe fashion.
I had him sit on the bike (on the lawn)...
(I had previously taught him to jump clear of the bike
and land on his feet and roll if necessary)
as I held it.
I had him jump off the bike to one side
and land on his feet.
I also had him shoulder roll to protect his head
and arms...in the event of him being overcome by
his rate of travel.
We practiced over and over until he was comfortable
with falling...
before the end of the day...
he was doing figure eights
and stopping from speed...
all with confidence.
He now rides with relative ease...
even though he rarely rides.
Skill Mastery
While closely related to Fear Nullification...
it chiefly differs in teaching what to do
in a positive scenario...
how to not lose control of the situation
to begin with...how to stay out of
a negative scenario.
While both are taught eventually...
Fear Nullification must sometimes
be used first if the fear of the negative scenario
overrides the learning process of Skill Mastery.
Example of application
Boxing
A good boxing gym teaches not only how to hit...
but how not to get hit...
by bobbing and weaving...
controlling distance...
slipping and parrying...etc.
(Fear nullification...besides damage control...
comes in rolling with the punch)
Having the basic skills mastered
before ever stepping into the ring to spar is essential...
as it not only keeps the fighter
from becoming gun shy...
it prevents unnecessary injury...
and is a far more efficient way of learning.
Another example of both used in teaching a new skill...
swimming.
One of the first things taught...besides
having them get used to having their faces
underwater while holding their breath...
is learning how to survival float...
then comes wading...
dog paddling...
and on to successively more complicated strokes...
and underwater swimming.
It would neither be smart, nor efficient, teaching
by throwing them into the deep end without
giving them the basics of swimming.
The same principles apply
to all new skills...
be it...
public speaking...
tests of all sorts...
any new skill.
You teach them the concepts
of the skill until they have mastered them.
To have them operate from the beginning
with a sense of mastery...
gives them true confidence...
it reinforces their lust for adventure
as they feel fully prepared...
and may operate on a level of
excitement instead of fear.
Once they are taught how to conquer fear
through the application of concepts...
they will be able to master future challenges.
When the future is no longer looked upon
with fear...and the associated dread...
it becomes nothing but positive...
and so...
seen as wondrous and beautiful.
Instilling a lust for life...
is putting your child in a Positive Spiral.
Having him able to learn how to master his fears...
