Monday, October 24, 2011

Home Schooling - The Use Of Rumors As A Sieve


Song:  Under Threat

Artist:  Veigar Margeirsson



(Picture gotten from a Facebook friend's post)

Almost everyone has experienced a negative rumor...
one designed to marshal a group against another group or individual.

It is an attempt to use the power of the finger (ahem...index finger)...
to merely point at an individual and to make a false negative claim...
in an attempt to bring social pressure to bear with the threat of ostracization...
or even worse...direct intervention through a variety of bullying tactics.

It is also an attempt to unify the originator's group against a common...
albeit innocent, enemy.

It is the ease at which they may make an unsupported claim...
and remain anonymous as the originator (I heard that...)...
that it is so often used as a tactic of aggression.

In general, it doesn't matter what a person thinks about you...
however, to think that their negative thoughts cannot lead to negative actions...
would be naive.

It is the negative actions which must be addressed if they become unbearable.

To try to battle every rumor would drain you of time and effort...
of such a great degree that with a simple sentence from them...
they could cause great stress and effort in your trying to prove innocence
where it would be almost impossible to do so
(a rumor is designed to be almost undefendable just for this purpose...
which makes the originator's behavior all the more indefensible).

It is an attempt to sabotage a rival...
to hopefully cause them to be so stressed at the rumor 
that their overreaction to it would cause it to be even worse
than the rumor.

It is their ultimate aim to cause self destruction
or to paint a bullseye on back of their target
and a green light to attack at will from all others...
but they will settle for social ostracization...
leading to isolation and self doubt.

As a child on the spectrum...
they may face these tactics more often.

What makes this especially heinous is that many on the spectrum
don't know what to do about it.

They are generally loners and, so, are already isolated.

A Queen Bee type often targets them as they are considered easy prey.

What I have stressed to Alex...
is that a person's mind is his own...
it is their actions or inactions which are in his realm of concern.


In the above article I have described what Alex has been taught to do
when dealing with overt aggression. 

He ALWAYS has the right to self protection...
no matter from whom.

When dealing with rumors however...
it is far better to...
realize that because you are considered a threat...
that you should actually be flattered.

They consider you smarter...better looking...or stronger...
AND...
they fear you too much to take you on themselves.

As people often hide behind a facade...
they hide their cards until an event causes them 
to show their hand.

Just by observing who looks upon you as you hear of the rumor...
looking for the shiny eyes of glee...
of the unmistakeable look of anticipation in their body language...
of their suppressed smiles as you are questioned about it...
(the ones of evil intent feed off of the target's reaction)...
your child will be able to tell which are the ones to cut from his life
(a spectrum child has little inherent ability to read facial expressions 
or body language...but he can be taught them...or learn from experience.
Korean Dramas are great for teaching empathy and body language).


The ones who shun him merely as a result of the rumor
are the ones who don't think critically...
the sheep of the world who are followers...
those who are easily misled.

They are of the willfully stupid people who don't wish to 
think for themselves
(by willfully stupid, I mean of their own laziness...
not something out of their control).

They, too, are to be left behind...
 as at best... they are opportunists.

They will betray at a moments notice...
depending on which way the political wind blows.

As they lack the will to think for themselves...
they constantly look for someone who will do their thinking...
selling themselves into intellectual slavery...
and looking to get ahead by political maneuvering 
instead of through their own intellectual efforts.


Life is too short to have any of those sort around.
There are simply too many good people to be with.

By having a rumor work for you...
you turn what was intended to do you harm...
into something which helps you make determinations
about who are to be a part of your life.

You are using rumors to act as a sieve...
filtering... separating...
the wheat from the chaff...
 the flour from the clumps...
friend from foe...
the critical thinker from the chumps.

Just to not prejudge those who, out of reasonable caution...
wish to merely distance themselves from the whole affair...
a few words of defense is usually all that is needed.

With minimal effort and just a few words...
the rumor may be dispelled in the minds of rational people
by placing the effort where it should have been in the first place...
on the person making the assertion...
by merely saying...
"Oh...how so?"

A baseless assertion is difficult to defend.

As there will be no direct evidence...
just suppositions...
all that need be said afterward is that for the listeners
to think for themselves and to make their decisions accordingly.

The actions to follow would be to observe those
who either support the rumor or reason.


I say...

Have your child stand his ground...
to look around him with 
the eyes of an Intellectual Warrior
and the air of a King of Righteousness
(not religious in connotation).

Have him let all those who intended to observe and judge him...
know that they are being observed and judged (by him) as to which decision
they arrive at...and it is they...and not he...who shall have to live with it.

Have him make the ones who stand for 
dishonor and deceit...
slink away.



In the long run...
the ones who did not partake in the rumor mill
will respect the intelligence that was displayed
in using minimal effort to place the offender on the defensive...
thereby making it too expensive of a tactic to employ
on your child in the future.

It exposes the perpetrator or perpetuator of the rumor...
not only as a coward who attempted to use the group...
but one who is a danger to the group...
 as a person of no honor... has no boundaries.


A false rumor is an opportunity to...
 unmask the enemies of reason and honor...
to separate friend from foe...
and a chance to display the finely polished Armor of Logic...
 the finely honed edge of the Sword of Intellect...
and of the great Warhorse of Reason upon which you ride...
a Royal Knight of Justice...
all the while remaining fully humble and modest ...
at least in action :)




3 comments:

  1. Great approach... don't be defensive... rather turn things around on them, intellectually at least.

    Alex is rapidly approaching the age where many peers may engage in spreading rumors, so it is wise that you are preparing him how to handle it.

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  3. Yes...he had experienced some when he was going to school. Although he didn't seem to be outwardly bothered by it to much, he often hides his hurt from us. He also understands that children are children because they have yet to mature, so this greatly mitigates his associated pain.

    I still must prepare him for the adult world...especially at the work place. I had encountered far more cliques and their rumors in the workforce than at school...initially. I went out of my way to embarrass them in front of their peers...they stopped... :)

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