Friday, October 14, 2011

Home Schooling - True Pride + Unwavering Love And Support = Expansive Vision


Song:  Nights In White Satin

Rendition: David Lanz (Orchestral)

Original Composition:  The Moody Blues



I only harp on the inner growth aspect of people
because the external is, so often, a reflection of the internal.


True Pride...

(I say...it is not pride that goeth before the fall...
but FALSE pride that goeth before the fall)

that which is earned...
through applied intelligence...
through applied effort...
is a main fuel for Drive.


Drive...
the single most important variable to success.


Positive Reinforcement of all good actions...
and true accomplishments, naturally leads to
the development of true pride.

(It is important to not praise mediocrity.
The praise of a true effort...yes.
Guiding them to achieve a true accomplishment also...better).


As I have stated before...
the love among parents and their children...
must be unconditional.

A child who is deeply loved...
and knows it through the parents actions, words and touch...
never fears desertion.

They need not fear making mistakes or missteps in life...
as they know their parents will always be there for them.

They may face ridicule or hatred from others outside the family...
but with the knowledge that their parents 
will always love them no matter what...
they will always know that they will never lose
that which is a deep and endearing...
and one of the most sacred of all attachments to another.


Their heart is open to develop the freedom to explore their world
unhindered by fear...
so they may boldly step forth.

I must reiterate...

It is NOT the giving of unlimited amounts
of love and affection which spoils a child.

It is in not having correct structure.

This automatically precludes the notion of 
unreasonably strict adherence to structure
(correcting every small detail every time)...
or with the unreasonable enforcement of structure
(correction can come without rudeness or abuse...
in most cases).

That makes this a General Rule...
not a Golden Rule.

There are times where a voice must be raised when all else fails.

It is about the concept of structure...
the spirit of the parameters that have been set...
not necessarily the letter of it.


When time is not of the essence...
and Alex seems to be extraordinarily resistant

(the operative word here is...extremely.
Something so far from the norm as to be 
a strong and deep rooted emotion 
that had uncharacteristically flared)...

and his resistance doesn't seem to follow a pattern of behavior
designed to alter the structural parameters...
I will let things go for the moment...
ask him why...usually with some form of levity...
and then when I feel he has calmed down...
have him try again.

I know most parents love their children deeply and sincerely...
yet some withhold outward affection out of fear of spoiling them.

A child is a child because they don't have life experience...
and until 8 years or so of age...
don't even have their full cognitive capabilities.

Until age 25 or so...
their impulse control is often times not fully developed
(or some never...me...case in point...  :)

Anyway...
a small child often only sees cause and effect.

Actions, or, a lack thereof...
shows to them...
true intent without fail.

They don't have the experience in life to draw from.

They can't know the many differing reasons that their
parents are not so affectionate to them as they have witnessed
other parents being to their children.

Although the reasons in the minds of the parents are understandable...
in my mind...they are invalid.

Full and unconditional love manifests itself as
emotional armor for the child...
a safe harbor in any storm...
a place of deep comfort and safety.

With his ship fully armored and completely sea worthy...
a safe harbor always in reach...
he can then set his sights outward...
beyond the horizon.

Without fear of sinking...
with his sails set to fully harness
 the great winds of True Pride...
Driving him forward and true...
his ship fully provisioned by the love and support of his parents...
he is then free to plot his course to unchartered waters...
to fully explore the oceans...
with a brave face to the world
and with a song in his heart.

With the drive that manifests itself from True Pride...
knowing that he is in control of his destiny...
the Captain of his ship...
he knows he has ultimate control of his life...
the lands to which he shall set his sails...
this is what naturally leads to Optimism...
his drive to explore all that there is.

That is to have an Expansive Vision.



2 comments:

  1. I think what is a challenge for me is when my son says or does something to me in anger that is very hurtful. Of course, as the grownup, I know I should not respond in kind. And I should realize that a child's anger is most often a temporary reaction, not one to be taken to heart too much. But it is sometimes hard to show affection after being pushed away. And yet, as you say, it is vital that the child knows that the parent loves them unconditionally.

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  2. Yes, and it is precisely after those difficult times where the child realizes just how much you love him. I know when I had done wrong as a child. It was when after I had done wrong to my parents and had still received affection...that I had realized the depth of their love for me.

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