Saturday, April 9, 2011

Home Schooling - Concept Of Love


Warmth Of The Sun - Beach Boys


While Love is subjective...

(I shall not be going into the biochemical
aspects...as this...to me...does not matter)

there are many instances in life that, initially, can be confusing.


As deeply as I have loved certain women in my life...
ones whom I can never forget...
whose sweet faces and beautiful eyes
were mere manifestations of their
even more beautiful souls...

there is an even greater love...

one that surpasses all else...

the sacred bond from Parent to Child


My family in the 1960s
(my father was working in Alaska for a few years)

My first great love was my Mother.

She was a warm and affectionate mother
who gave me the yardstick to measure future women
in my life.



My Father and Mother with a newborn Alex.


I was not a bad child...
not because I feared my father
(he was a softie :)...
but because I feared the look
of disappointment in my mother's eyes.

She did so much for us...
by demonstrating her love...
through her great cooking...
warm hugs and kisses...
but mostly through her
soul reading
(she could look into our eyes and know what we were 
feeling...much to my dismay at the time).


My first romantic love was when I had 
just turned 20 yrs. old
(although I had burning passions for 
many a cute girl throughout school...
this first romantic love was all consuming...
she still haunts me to this day).

Throughout my childhood...
I had always kept this image of the perfect woman
in my mind...
perfect in every way...
kindness and beauty exuded from her soul
as manifested in...
 her eyes...
her feminine and graceful motions...
her demeanor as demonstrated
through her speech patterns...
what she said...and did not say...
her soft delivery...the timing and intonation...
the incredibly intelligent and insightful eyes...
a true goddess of beauty.

On that fateful day...
a Christmas Eve...
I saw her.

It was immediate and struck me to the core.

It was love at first sight only because
she was the woman I had loved all my life...
the one I had envisioned since boyhood.

NO...
our relationship never reached fruition...
only because of my stupid and overpowering
shyness.

I had committed the great personal sin of 
cowardice in love.

After my awkward delaying had caused the loss
of a great love...
two realizations occurred to me...

Although the loss was greatly felt...
it was bitter-sweet.


First...

She had opened my eyes to the overpowering...
 all consuming nature of...
 true love.

I knew that I would one day feel it again...
it was this great hope that carried me through
many a rough time in my life
(and so the great tragedy of youth ending their lives
over a loss of a great love...
there is a saying in the Mental Health Industry...
Suicide is often a permanent solution...
to a temporary problem).


Second...

I made a sacred vow to not allow my fears
to keep me from living and loving fully...
by expressing it more fully, deeply...and without hesitation.


I went on to find my wife and at age 40 (one month shy of 41)...
had found an even greater love...

My son Alex.


I have told my son...
he should resolve to never marry...
to guide his life with single mindedness...
toward a future rich in great experiences...
which shall lead him to love life...

and that...

when he meets the girl that changes his mind...
that is when he shall know it is the right one.


Now... two things should have struck you 
as you read this article...

One...

You noticed the GREAT importance of the woman
on the development of a young man.

A mother who is loving and affectionate has
immeasurable and lasting effect on her children.

How a man relates to other women in his life
is greatly influenced by his mother.

How I relate to other men...
 was influenced greatly by my father 
and by my various male role models.

It is not enough to feel love for your children...
it is in how you express your love.

Giving love and affection openly and fully
through actions and touch
is not only remembered...
it molds the future men and women.

Two...

You must have noticed that I said from
Parent TO Child and NOT between
Parent AND Child.

This extremely important concept
is what allows the future of humanity
to evolve instead of stagnate.


The child must fall out of love with his parents
to be able to fly from the nest.

This allows him to fall in love with others.

Although there will always be a special place
for his parents...
new priorities must evolve.

The greatest loves of his life shall supercede 
that of his love for his parents...
it must be so.

Does this mean that he no longer cares for them
in heart and action?

NO.

What it does mean is that he will have to spend far more
time with his new family than with his parents.

That is why the best gift you can give your grown children
is their independence of heart and mind
by making sure you...as parents...stay independent.

By keeping yourself healthy...
cognitively...
emotionally...
physically...
you free them of being torn between 
duty to their family to that of their parents.

We, as parents, shall always deeply love our children
above all others...
as should be.

The sacred bond between 
husband and wife
is strengthened by our 
shared love of our children...
not threatened by it. 


Should sometime in the future...
your children must cancel
a planned visit to you
due to their family matters...

know that you had raised them correctly.


Always remember...

It is not our children 
who owe us everything...

It is we...
the parents...
who owe everything
to them.












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